not leaving childhood

till this day, i still watch my childhood shows and movies or just children-related movies. i also still enjoy playing with toys and looking at the toy aisle. you can laugh at me if you want, but i somehow find comfort in them. it’s sad growing up and having to go through change. having to leave your childhood behind to mature. to grow up. sometimes i wish i could go back and be a 5yr old who just wants to dress up and have a tea party with her dolls, or a 6yr old who plays with her food set. now, im a 14yr old who wants a summer vacation and therapy. i remember on the days i would feel sad, i would watch a bunch of barbie and movies like Matilda, Ratatouille, Trolls, Peter Rabbit, Paddington, Nanny McPhee, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Rio, and so much more, and they really would make me feel better. they’re really like free therapy. movies like these help me escape reality and all my problems in life, and it’s nice to revisit those times. it makes you forget about the bad in your life and around you. there’s always a happy ending in those movies no matter the situation, you just know that at the end, everyone is happy and the problem is solved which is so unlike life and the movies we watch now. that feeling of comfort also comes from toys as i’ve said. you know those food sets and miniature kitchens? i’ve always loved those and whenever i see one, i can’t help but actually pretend like i’m cooking. i wish we didn’t have to grow up and realize that we’ll never get to experience simpler days ever again. i find that it’ll be hard for me to let go of all my childhood memories someday but it eventually will happen.